Most of the time, that is not true. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. 4. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. No, not really. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. Who knows, they might just do it. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. 97. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? 1. 64. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. funny response to are you still alive Then you die. *Siri activates front camera*. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. Dave Barry (author). Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. In fact, they're taking too much of it. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". I'm loved! It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." He sold it to me on his deathbed. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? Learn more about us here. 2. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. At least my hair looks amazing. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Mentally? 100 Funny and Witty Quotations About Age and Getting Older - Holidappy Me being single is just a conspiracy! I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. Holy s**t, you can see me?! Yup, I dont share it. The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. 55. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever How do you think that I am doing? Just Smile And Nod The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes What's your sign? 3. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. How To Answer "Why Are You Single?": 33 Ideas - Elite Daily 35 Auto Reply Text Message Ideas: Funny, Professional, Effective 10. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia Is that a scar on your face? Could have been worse, right. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. But Ive also had better. 98. How impressive! Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? 9. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? I always yawn when Im interested. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. 10. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. 20. This one is good. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. 45 Funny Memes About Life in 2023 - Happier Human Youre a ground-hugger. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. Keep calm and be awesome. 56. I dont know. 4. I agree, thanks for sharing. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Im in a relationship with myself. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. What a miracle. Maybe I am a kindergartner? Youll go far someday. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". 62. I have been going through GOT in my work life. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Hi! To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". More like give me a sign that. Its too small to be out there all alone. . Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Happy, and I know it. 15. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? The police? Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep Chuck Bass? 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. I just adore my own company. Some people spend all their time on their phone. Privacy Policy. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. But half the time, it is a nightmare. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . Thank you Fred. 48. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. 58. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . You speak as if youre not single yourself! Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Comeback for "oh you still alive".. : Comebacks - reddit Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. Hanging by a thread. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. 32. 10. 51. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. 14. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. Not. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . The following two tabs change content below. When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? 2. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. No? Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. 7. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! *wink*. 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest I'm wondering how you are. Siri, why am I still single? Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. Click here for additional information. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. 99 Savage And Funny Answers To "How Old Are You?" Pick your struggle. Shane from The L Word? 59. It can be good to just say it how it is. 2. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. You have an old soul. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. 28 Witty Responses To Ghosting That'll Haunt Them Forever - Bustle 92. No, keep talking. 100 Good Comebacks Best Funny, Witty Comebacks Ever - Parade However, I dont recall anything about morons. Call the police." 13 Quora User If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. Are you Jamaican? Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." 25. I'm overqualified! My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. Alive Quotes (560 quotes) - Goodreads Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. The government? Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? (perfect for vegans). Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! Whats with all these questions? Could Be Better. What do you mean Im still single. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Hopefully, youll stay there. funny response to are you still alive - hazrentalcenter.com Hello, how are you? Your secrets are always safe with me. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. 6. Alive Jokes. 1. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Financially? I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. Another way to say Still Alive? Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. This is a good response to throw out there. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. Better inside than outside. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Best Answers to the "What You Do For a Living?" Question You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. Could be better, though. I am not sure what you mean. *sips wine/tea*. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. 38. 52. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Sorry, life. 3. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. Dont wake me up yet. 63. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. Maybe you can Google it. What's your favourite "I'd rather die" response alternative? 16. 75. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. 1. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Have you been thinking? Are those space pants? So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. No, I'm Finnish. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. I will leave that up to your imagination. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. 96. I'm afraid I can't do that. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Now that is pretty f****** funny. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. Congrats, guys! What do you say when people ask you that? "Hey You, I'm really good. 17. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. funny response to are you still alive - claudiovoiceovers.com I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here.